What does love look like?

Keep it Real Wednesday,

October 9, 2019

What does love look like?

30 years ago, I married my soulmate and life partner, Wade Houser.  God had to do some serious planning for us to meet during our relatively short stay in California (I was from the East coast and Wade from Alaska), but our souls connected and there was no turning back.

We were married in 1989, our daughter was born in 1990 and son in 1997.

In 1995, my father was ill and held Wade’s hand days before he died and asked him to watch over the love of his life and my mother, Rosemary.

When we decided to move to Idaho in 1998 to raise our family, Wade asked me if I thought Rosemary should come with us and join our family.   Rosemary didn’t take much persuading and her bags were quickly packed, and she has lived with us ever since.

For 21 years of our 30-year marriage, Wade has embraced Rosemary living with us in our home.  We have been a multi-generational family, and our three generations have cared for each other in different ways, and at different times.  In the early years, Rosemary loved being an extra set of adult hands, she read to our children, always had time to play and she bridged the gap that many working families have.  She was “home base” to our busy family. Now, our adult children tend to her in other ways as Nick will gently play his guitar for her, or Amanda will share special jokes and secrets to make Rosemary smile. 

Unlike many of our peers, Wade and I are not empty nesters.  We schedule our lives around Rosemary’s needs and vacation only when another family member can be here for respite.  Is it easy?  Of course, it is not easy, but there is not much in life that is easy. But it is the right thing for us.

What does love look like?  It looks like Wade Houser – the guy who makes a promise to a dying man and holds that promise his entire life, the guy who invites his mother in law to live in his family home as an integral part, the guy who supported my decision to halt my career and take an early retirement to care for Rosemary, the guy who spent hours and hours building a bike for her 92nd birthday, the guy who works hard in a career caring for others as a nurse, and then gets home to start building a bike in the garage for others.  That’s what love looks like.

I may not say it enough or in as many ways as I should, but Wade Houser – you are one hell of a good man and I am grateful, TRULY grateful, that you love me.

This world is truly a better place because of you.  You are what love looks like.

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