May 1, 2019
This year has been full of many ups and downs, smiles and tears, laughter and pain and everything in between. Mom and I have had many conversations about life, end of life, heaven and how each of us will know she is near after she leaves us. I am so very grateful for those conversations. However last week she pulled me aside and told me she had one remaining worry that she wanted to talk about.
My grandmother lived with our family growing up for as long as I can remember, and my Mother cared for her at home where she died peacefully at the age of 89. My Mom said one of the hardest parts of grieving was walking past the room where her own mother lived and not being able to breath. Her past memories would flood the air causing it to be too thick to breathe. Her worry for me? How would I feel after she passes away and I walk past her room?
I have not felt that side of grief, so I can’t know for certain on how it will feel to lose my Mother someday, but I can tell you this: Her room was always full of love. Our children fondly called her room “the Safe Room” because in there they could tell their secrets that only the love between a grandparent and grandchild could know. In that room, there were lots of books read to my children, lots of phone calls with her children and grandchildren out of town and lots of pictures of those she has loved over the years. In that room she prayed every day for the safety of her family. In that room is love – wall to wall – corner to corner.
How did I answer my Mom? I told her when the day comes, and God chooses to call her home, her room shall be the Blessing Bike official home office. I will move my laptop and file boxes from the dining room to her room, so she will continue to inspire us in building blessing bikes for people, and her love will permeate time and space.
A mother’s love……extraordinary!